Gym Wankers

Recently, a certain culture has arisen with a lot of folks, and has become the popular thing to do, or be seen doing. That thing is, going to the gym.

I don’t have a problem with people going to the gym. It’s great. If that’s your thing, go for it. I’m not going to stop you. What I will ask you to stop doing however is telling me that you went to the gym last night, what you did in the gym last night and how good or bad you feel because you went to the gym last night. I just could not give a flying fuck.

I don’t, as you may have guessed, go to the gym. I’ve been maybe a handful of times in my entire life, and astonishingly I’m still pretty fit despite this. You see, I can get exercise in a variety of other ways apart from going to the gym 8 days a week. And better than that, I do it for nothing.

It’s these people that are all ‘oh, it’s a lifestyle choice’ that get on my tits. I’m sure it is, but frankly I’d rather be 30 stone than one of these wankers that goes to the gym every single day and works out exactly how much they need to exercise to work off the food they’ve eaten that day. And I don’t care if you’ve had a great workout, or ‘smashed the gym,’ or done 20 reps or whatever. To me, you’re a gym wanker.

I want to actually enjoy my life, not have it ruled by the fact that I feel I have to go to the gym every day and worry if I don’t because you might put on a tiny bit of weight. People say that being lazy and not being in your peak physical condition shows a lack of self respect; I think it shows a lack of being a boring bastard that you don’t feel the need to work out every day.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with people exercising and keeping fit. I encourage that. I don’t enjoy people telling me that because I don’t spend every non working or sleeping hour in the gym, that I’m somehow a fat lazy bastard. I’m not, so kindly fuck the fuck up.

The worst people for it though are the ones who do go to the gym but still smoke, get bladdered every weekend and munch down on carry outs as well, yet still take the moral high ground because they go to the gym. I don’t smoke, I don’t really drink (I do however eat quite a lot of takeaways) so I tend to throw this back in their stupid gym going faces.

I know for a fact that I could be fitter, stronger and healthier if I did gym it up 8 days a week, but honestly I’m fine as I am right now thanks.

Bye
JC