Recently I’ve been thinking a lot
about getting older.
Not in a depressing way, mind. I
have no problem with aging at all, not the way some people do. Women, mostly. A friend of mine turned 30 recently and near had a mental breakdown. Seriously.
But my thoughts have recently turned to wondering whether I act my age. I’m 27.
Not old by any stretch but I still feel like a teenager most of the time; a
teenager with a house, and mortgage but still a teenager. It makes me wonder, do
people who meet me or even just pass me in the street think that I’m 27 or do I
give off a younger than my years aura? Or even an older than my years vibe? Do
people look at me and instantly think I’m nearly 30, or do they see me as I see
me; still relatively young looking? Or worse still, do they think I’m a square?
For instance, I walk past the art
college in Belfast most days on my
lunch hour, and I see the kids (and they are kids) coming out of said college,
and they look so fresh faced, and frankly, about 12 years old. I mean, when I
look in the mirror I don’t think I’ve changed that much since I was 18 yet
looking at these cherub faced university students makes me think that I must
look like an old man to them. I mean, I know I haven’t been ravaged by age or
anything, but I’m bound to look at least 9 years older than these students even
though in my mind I’m still pretty much the same person, looks wise. Literally
the only thing that has changed about me in those last 9 years since I joined
uni is my waist size.
And I’m definitely not a square.
Sometimes though I think I should
act more like a 27 year old. The problem being, I have no idea how a 27 year
should act. At present I still play computer games, I’m still actively an
immature internet user, and I still get stupidly excited about things that you
think I’d of long since grown out of. But is this just indicative of a massive
culture shift? Is the immaturity threshold becoming higher? Or am I just a big
fucking kid? Well, I reckon it’s all three, because most of my friends are
probably the same.
But then sometimes I also think
is it such a bad thing? It’s not as if I’m shirking other responsibilities to go
and play video games, except for maybe not washing the dishes. But serious
responsibilities. I still get on with my adult life, and do important adult
things, yet still leave time for the dumb stuff. It’s not as if I’m not going to
work so that I can play Guitar Hero. I suppose this has always been the way, and
it’s only because I’m currently going through it that I can understand how this
aging thing works. I reckon I’m currently in a sort of limbo state at the
moment; the time of life when I can have my cake and eat it, before real life
kicks in and I have to alter the immature/mature ratio to more acceptable grown
up standards. But even then, I doubt I’m going to turn into some stuffy boring
so and so. It’s quite interesting when you think about how your life is
compartmentalised, between the you in your spare time, the you around certain
people and the you that has to deal with important shit. Maybe that is acting my
age; being able to switch between the fun parts of your life, and the necessary
parts.
This blog ended up in a different
place than I had intended, but hopefully it might raise some interesting
discussion.
Enjoy!
